The Big 30

I never deeply thought about the impact of turning 30 until I saw an episode of Friends when Rachel turns 30. She looked pretty devastated in that episode and somehow it made an impact on me that I should feel that way too when I reach that milestone.

I always hated my birthdays. People never remember them because it's in the  end of summer when everyone is busy getting ready for school or coming back from vacation. In my mind, I always wanted to have that magical birthday with lots of people singing me happy birthday, candle filled cake, and drinks galore. Well, that was what I thought circa 25.

After that I finally gave up on that thought and things were much better. Still it didn’t stop me from fearing about my big 3-0. I always imagined where I will be, what I will be doing, and most important of all, where my life would be headed on that crucial day.

As it turns out, on August 24, 2014 I was working in JP Morgan in SF and bound for grad school in Europe. I spent the night before pre-celebrating with my family at a restaurant and opening bottles of wine and cheese afterwards. Slightly hung over (but still happy) the next day, I had a picnic in the Presidio under a blue clear sky overlooking the ocean with some of my closest and best friends I’ve known for half my life.  It was peaceful, modest, warm, and just how I wanted it to be.

So does it really feel old turning 30? Not so much as I thought. Am I sad that I’m no longer in my 20s? Honestly, 20s was a time of trouble. It’s a period which follows your teenage years which can still be awkward and unsure, at least for me. I was broke, lacked self-confidence, and lost most of the time. I made a lot of mistakes, I had to adapt to a foreign country I never lived in, and I endured tough times being a newbie in the work force doing the economic downturn. I experienced the Financial Crisis. I survived the Tohoku Earthquake. I went through the biggest heartbreak of my life. I cringe thinking about all the things I went through. Standing at the entrance of my 30s, I am much more financially stable (or at least I now have the experience and skills that make me competitive in the job market), emotionally stable, confident about myself, and most of all I know what I want in life.  So to all who are dreading this big day, fear not.