The Big 30

I never deeply thought about the impact of turning 30 until I saw an episode of Friends when Rachel turns 30. She looked pretty devastated in that episode and somehow it made an impact on me that I should feel that way too when I reach that milestone.

I always hated my birthdays. People never remember them because it's in the  end of summer when everyone is busy getting ready for school or coming back from vacation. In my mind, I always wanted to have that magical birthday with lots of people singing me happy birthday, candle filled cake, and drinks galore. Well, that was what I thought circa 25.

After that I finally gave up on that thought and things were much better. Still it didn’t stop me from fearing about my big 3-0. I always imagined where I will be, what I will be doing, and most important of all, where my life would be headed on that crucial day.

As it turns out, on August 24, 2014 I was working in JP Morgan in SF and bound for grad school in Europe. I spent the night before pre-celebrating with my family at a restaurant and opening bottles of wine and cheese afterwards. Slightly hung over (but still happy) the next day, I had a picnic in the Presidio under a blue clear sky overlooking the ocean with some of my closest and best friends I’ve known for half my life.  It was peaceful, modest, warm, and just how I wanted it to be.

So does it really feel old turning 30? Not so much as I thought. Am I sad that I’m no longer in my 20s? Honestly, 20s was a time of trouble. It’s a period which follows your teenage years which can still be awkward and unsure, at least for me. I was broke, lacked self-confidence, and lost most of the time. I made a lot of mistakes, I had to adapt to a foreign country I never lived in, and I endured tough times being a newbie in the work force doing the economic downturn. I experienced the Financial Crisis. I survived the Tohoku Earthquake. I went through the biggest heartbreak of my life. I cringe thinking about all the things I went through. Standing at the entrance of my 30s, I am much more financially stable (or at least I now have the experience and skills that make me competitive in the job market), emotionally stable, confident about myself, and most of all I know what I want in life.  So to all who are dreading this big day, fear not.

久々の映画鑑賞

最近忙しくてあまり映画を観てなかったのですが、久々に観ました、しかも珍しくフランスの映画！今年のカンヌ国際映画祭のパルムドール獲得作品ということで興味はあったものの同性愛、しかも重めの映画だったので敬遠してたんだけど、映画バカであるＲからかなり押されたのと(笑)、スイスに経つ事を控えてフランス語の勉強も兼ねて観る事に（もちろん英字幕付き）。

冒頭から主人公である高校生のアデルが自分の性について悩むところから始まるのでてっきり、[少女が同性愛に目覚める官能映画]だと思ってしまってました 汗。というのも濡れ場があまりにも衝撃的でポルノ映画を観てるのかと思ってしまったぐらいでＲがなぜこの映画を一押ししてたのか最初は少し不安でした　笑

ちなみに上映時間がかなり長い（３時間ジャスト）ので携帯に移して通勤時間の合間に観ようと思ってたんだけど、最初の20分で既に過激なシーンオンパレードで通勤ラッシュ中にそれを真顔で観るのはかなり恥ずかしい！（観たけどね　笑）

※ここから少しネタバレになってしまうのでご了承ください～

自分が女性に惹かれていると気づき始めたアデルはレズバーで出会った美大生エマと出会う。互いに強烈に惹かれあい、カップルとなり、やがて同棲するようになるが新人の注目芸術家としての華やかな道を歩き出すエマとは対照的に堅実で地味に幼稚園の先生となったアデルの間少しずつ狭間ができちゃって、結局は別れてしまうんだよね。

ここからはアデルの日常の生活を映し出すのだけど、その失恋の悲しみがとてもよく伝わってきて共感。子供のいる前では元気に振舞うけど、生徒たちが帰った途端涙が止まらなくなったり、エマとの思い出の場所を歩いたりと、なかなか次のステップに進めない彼女を観て多分失恋を体験した誰もが共感すると思うし、その姿を見て自分が失恋したときと重ねあう人も多いのでは？クライマックスシーンでアデルは数年後またエマと再会して、やり直そうと持ちかけるシーンがあるんだけど官能的な前半とは対照的にとても純粋で素直に自分の気持ちをぶつけている姿を見て我ながら泣いてしまった・・。こういうシーンでは滅多に泣かないのですが・・・

同性愛の映画はあまりメジャーでないこともあってか今までは「どうせ観てもあまり共感はできないかもしれない」と勝手ながらに思ってたけど、愛する人は男性であれ女性であれ、人を好きになる気持ちって変わらないんだな、と改めて思いました。また同性愛というと差別とかエイズとかというテーマがくっついてくることが多い中、この作品は二人の女性の恋愛に重点を置いているのが新鮮だったな～

ちなみに映画のフランス語直訳は『アデルの物語、第1，2章』というなんとも平凡なタイトル　笑。でも考えてみるとしっくりします。第3，4章の続編が観たいわけではないけど、このタイトルからアデルの物語はまだ始まったばかり、ということが伺える・・のかな? なんともフランスっぽいネーミング。

思春期から２０代って感受性豊かだし、いろいろ未来について悩むし、若気の至りで失敗もたくさんするし、反省もたくさんするし、いわゆる人間としての成長期。なので人生の中で一番大変な時期なんじゃないかなあ。私事ながら数日前３０歳になったのですが、改めて２０代が終わって良かった～と思いました。２０歳の頃よりも３０歳になった今の方がなんとなく人生にしっくりくるような感じがする（←人生まだまだひよっこですが　笑）

主人公にもぜひこの先はいいことも絶対あるはずだからー！！と呼びかけたくなるような作品でした。 

Pre Celebration

Everyone, thank you for all the birthday wishes, it's not even my birthday officially yet but I've gotten so many texts and messages and my family took me out :) I feel the love 

Round 2

The Saskis

Quick Update

I apologize for the big gap in posts! I don’t mean to make this post a list of excuses but seriously my days in San Francisco have flown by because it’s been a series of event one after the other. Right after I returned from my mini trip to Japan in May, I engulfed myself in job searching. After a few short term stints I finally landed myself in a full time temp position. Things were cruising when I decided to make the stunning move to kick Georgetown and attend University of Geneva in Switzerland for my masters. Work then surmounted to about 50hrs a week so I’ve been toiling away whilst preparing my residency visa, looking for housing, organizing my boxes for the move, and getting my life in order before I start my new life in Europe. I really haven’t had a chance to breathe to be honest. Every time I had some free time, I should’ve updated this blog but instead I just wanted to take a minute to take a quick pause from everything that has passing through my life.

It’s been one year since I quit my job at Credit Suisse. It’s also a year since I left Tokyo, the city I love so dearly and my second home. My days were filled with anxiety in the early stages but I was also filled with excitement and hope. Nevertheless, one year ago I would’ve never imagined where I am now.  Today I can proudly say I am so glad I made this decision. I feel great and I could not have been happier. Moreover, the things I have experienced in just one year has completely changed my life for the better. And while I can’t say I am richer or wiser, I can definitely say my eyes are now opened in a completely new way. It sounds a bit exaggerated but I feel a bit enlightened. Not so surprising when I’ve been working with monks for 5-6months eh?

I would just like to take a moment to thank everyone who’s supported me, namely my family and friends who have cheered me on even in the scariest moments. Also to R who has been my greatest support in all the decisions I have made and made me laugh every day in the most quirky humor possible, even on my darkest days.

I have about a bit over a week until I take off and I’m fully ready to embark on my next step. In the next coming weeks I would slowly like to upload what I have been up to since my days back from Cambodia. Please stay patient and I won’t let you down I promise!

Which Enclave Am I in Again?

San Francisco is undoubtedly one of the most diverse cosmopolitan cities in the world. But when I was little, the city was pretty much divided into segregated ethnic enclaves. I went to get groceries in Japantown, ate dimsum in Sunset (one of the many Chinatowns) and went to get burritos in Mission (Mexican). These days, those enclaves seem to get more blurry as different ethnic groups have stores and businesses side by side.

I went to grab cha siu bao (Chinese) BBQ pork buns and Chinese pastries with my parents the other day and it was interesting to see Latino and Asian communities all mixed in in one neighborhood. On just one block I saw Mexican, Vietnamese, Chinese, and El Salvadorian businesses side by side! This is what I love about San Francisco. Not only is the city's diversity constantly changing but it's becoming the epicenter of agglomeration of assimilation.

Of course the best part is that I can get pho for lunch and tamales for dinner :) 

Pilin' on the bread..

Asian-style Western pastries are the best!

Hopping over to the Mexican supermarket across to grab some spices!

Fourth of July

This is what happens when you live overseas too long: you forget how to celebrate it.

It's been 8 years since I last came back to Fourth of July. Of course I know it's the birthday celebration for my dear country but what exactly do you do? I ask this because for traditional holidays in Japan there's usually some sort of seasonal tradition or custom involved. 

After verifying with about a dozen of my coworkers I was finally reassured that its mostly a day of  barbecue, booze, and fireworks. Silly as this may sound I was doubting myself that other customs were involved but I think I got confused with Thanksgiving. Talk about being displaced for years! 

Well now that I know, that's just what my family did :) 

Happy Fourth of July everyone!

Campus Visits

Sorry I am behind on my blog posts.
The reason being is that I came back to the US and I'm currently grad school campus visiting in the East Coast.

Fortunately I was accepted into Tufts Fletcher program for their MA in Law and Diplomacy as well as Georgetown's MS in Foreign Service. I've been ruminating and my mind has been rumpled over making a choice for the past month so I decided to get to the chase and visit both schools. Will let you know of my decision soon! ;)

Boston

hehe cute shirt

I was recommended to eat this Boston special Carnelli and BOY it was sweet!

Japanese Anime gallary at SFO, pretty impressive exhibits

Gorgeous yet sadly rainy Tufts campus

Fletcher School of Law and Diplomacy at Tufts

Colonial style streets in Boston

Too bad I had no time for beer :(

Washington DC

Gorgeous day in DC

Is it just me or does it look like a Harry Potter school?